My name is Derek Hansen. I am 12 years old and I have a pretty nice life. I live in Northern California with my 9 year old brother, Nathan, and our parents, Phillip and Susan. Things used to be very different though, and that's what my story is about. I was born on May 24th 1986 in Seattle, Washington and I lived there with my mom until I was 3 years old. I don't remember too much about that time in my life, except that they have a monorail in Seattle (kind of like Disneyland) but I don't know if it's a memory from age 3 or not cause I visited Seattle when I was 10 so maybe I'm just confused. My therapist (I'm not crazy or anything) says that I "repressed" my memory because its painful. (?) Anyway, when I was 3 we moved to California to a town called Baldwin Park. I can remember being excited when my mom told me because I thought it would be cool to live at the park. We moved into a little apartment that had lots of kids and I had fun playing with everyone, except almost all the kids spoke Spanish and I didn't really understand sometimes so we did a lot of sign language and stuff. My mom never went anywhere during the day but I didn't really think about it then now I now we must have been on Welfare or something. My mom always had boyfriends but I don't remember any of them except the boyfriend she had in Baldwin Park his name was Rod and he was a policeman he would bring us pizza and stuff and always brought hot wheels cars for me when he came to visit, and once he even took us to Knott's Berry farm (A theme park close to our house). While we lived in Baldwin Park my mom kept getting fatter and fatter and one day she told me that she had a baby in her tummy. On February 22nd my brother Nathan was born he was pretty weird looking at first but I got used to him. At this point my mom had 2 baby's to change because I was still in diapers too partly because I was still wetting at night but also because I didn't like to sit on the toilet (I really tried though). When Nathan was almost 6 months old, my mom left us with the neighbor overnight so she could go out and when she didn't come back after two days the neighbor lady called Rod. We were taken to a house with lots of kids and lots of grownups too. A few days later, a lady came to visit us and told us that she was our social worker and that we were going to visit a nice man called a judge who would tell us what was going on. About a week later we went to see the judge who told me that my mom was gone (dead) and that they were going to find a nice home for us to live in.

         The social worker contacted family members (I don't know who) but couldn't find anyone to take us. My therapist says that my mom was suffering from postpartum depression but I never saw her act depressed she just left us and never came back. We stayed at the home for 2 more months before we were placed with a foster family. By then I was only wearing diapers at night and hadn't had any daytime accidents for at least 2 months. (Almost all the kids in the home wore diapers or pull-ups at night even the big kids) The family we were placed with were the Ashby's our social worker told me that they were a "pre-adoptive" family and if everything worked out ok then they might be our new parents. They had a daughter already that they had adopted named Jeanine who was about 6 months younger than me. The first week with them was really great they spent a lot of time playing with Nathan and me and were very loving. After we were there for awhile Janet (the mom) told me that it was time for me to stop wearing diapers at night cause I was to big. She wouldn't let me have anything to drink after 6 o'clock and she took me to the bathroom before bed, and then woke me up later to go pee. For about 3 days I did fine and then one morning I woke up and my bed was wet. Janet freaked out. She yanked me out of bed and threw me on the floor and told me I was I pig then she dragged me to the bathroom and pulled my pajamas off and slammed me down on the toilet. She told me I better not move or else and stormed out of the room I started crying because I was scared. (she looked very crazy)

         When she came back she told me to get in the tub and she made me take a bath to clean off the pee. After I got out of the tub she took me over her knee and spanked me for about 15 minutes, then told me that because I peed my bed like a baby I would have to wear a diaper like a baby. I was very confused because I had not wet during the day for a long time. She put a diaper on me and a shirt and made me play outside with Jeanine and all the other kids in the neighborhood. She took the diaper off for me to go to the bathroom and then put it back on again after I don't know what would have happened if I actually used the diaper. From then on every time I had an accident at night I would get the same treatment. All the kids in the neighborhood teased me, Jeanine teased me, and Janet and Robert (the dad) would call me names and tell me I was disgusting and sick. I began to hate them and asked the social worker to find us a new family but when she asked me why I could only say because (I was afraid that if I told her about wetting the bed she might say that wearing diapers and being embarrassed was the right punishment for me. We lived with the Ashby's until I was about 5 « and then we moved to a new house with people that didn't have any kids. I thought that we were moving cause of my complaining but I found out later that the Ashby's told the social worker that I had behavior problems and I was "aggressive"

         The new family was the Hansens, Phillip and Susan. It was completely different from the beginning when they talked to us they would crouch down and talk to us and we could sit on their lap to read a story and we got lots of hugs and kisses. The other thing that was different was I never got punished for wetting the bed Susan would come in my room in the morning and when I was wet she would say Oh you poor little guy lets get you out of those wet clothes and into something dry. And at night when it was bedtime she would rock with us or sit on the bed and rub my back until I fell asleep. I love her. After we had been there about 6 months I was sitting on the floor in the living room with her while she changed Nathan (that was another difference, she never pushed him down a yanked his diaper off, she would gently lay him down and talk to him the whole time and sometimes kiss the bottom of his feet and she never minded changing him even if he was poopy) Anyway, I said I wish I could be your baby and she said honey of course you're my baby too, your just my oldest baby then I said no I wish I was your baby like Nathan and you changed me and snuggled me like you do with Nathan. And she said I love you whether you're a big boy or a baby, but if you need to be a baby like Nathan you can be my baby for as long as you want. I told her I did and so she went to Nathan's room and got another diaper and the she picked me up and kissed me and rocked me and then she lied me down on the floor and gently pulled of my shorts and underwear and then she talked to me in a really soft voice about what a handsome boy I was and how much she loves me and the she slid the diaper underneath my bottom and taped it up. After the diaper was on she kissed the bottoms of my feet and then she carried me to the rocking chair and rocked me and rubbed my head and sang to me. When Phillip came home he seemed kind of surprised and they talked to each other for a while and then he came and picked me and Nathan up and hugged and kissed us and said how are my two baby boys today.

         Since then I have been wearing diapers every night (I still wet almost every night) and during the day whenever I want. I usually don't wear them anywhere except at home unless we're going on a long trip or spending the night at a hotel or something. Nathan wears diapers at night also but he always has one on during the day too unless he wants to go over to a friends house or something. None of my friends know that I wear diapers (the times that I go to there house for a sleepover I just drink less and stay awake. Nathan doesn't care who knows about his diapers but he doesn't wear them except at home (or for trips and hotels) he doesn't sleep over at anyone's house but he has had lots of friends here and nobody says anything to him about it. (I think his friends are jealous).

         I talked with this kid by computer that said he wore diapers too and told him about me and Nathan and he kept asking me the same questions over and over like he wasn't getting my letters. I found out later that he was writing to me while he had his friends over and that they thought me and my family were a bunch of sick freaks. All I know is me and Nathan have a mother and father who love us and who we love and I wish it wasn't such a big deal whether you wore diapers or not.