1. All kids should be allowed to wear diapers if they have wetting problems whatever their age, whether they wet the bed or their pants or both.

I remember waking up with a wet bed and soaking pyjamas when I was 10 or 12 almost every morning and it is not the greatest feeling on earth. My parents would never have let me wear a diaper at that age, but at least they did not make a fuss about it and just treated it as a matter of fact thing. At that age quite often I had wet pants cause I was not near a toilet when I was playing and I dribbled into them - not usually soaking them so no one knew that I had wet them. grey school shorts or thick corderoy shorts did not show the wet.

Matresses should be protected by a plastic or rubber sheet. The boys have a rubber sheet that has a terry towelling surface on one side and that works very well. they both wear diapers to bed every night so I do not have to wash sheets very often and I agree with you the saving in washing is well worth it. Wearing diapers means the boys can change themselves or each other easily and take control of the situation. If they poo themselves which sometimes happens after school or after a day trip out they ask me to change them so not to make a mess. It is easier for someone else to change your diaper for you in such cases as there is a lot of cleaning to be done. If there is less cleaning up to do, you are right it is less of a problem and should be less stressful for all concerned. Old people have to wear incontinence pads and pants sometimes, and so do some adults, so I don't see a problem with kids wearing diapers. The only time I would say they should not wear them is if they are undergoing treatment with a bedwetting or pants wetting alarm, but that is a special case. Doctors should encourage the use of diapers not discourage them - it is a health/cleanliness issue. Don't tell me about lost night sleep! I have tried alarms and lifting the boys at night, medication, and all sorts of thing but nothing has worked so far. Let me assure you the only person sleeping through an alarm is the person wetting the bed!

2. If the child wants to wear protection they should be allowed to do. If they do not they could be encouraged to do so for the reasons you give, but they should never be forced to wear diapers or whatever. It is their choice. Usually when kids are forced to wear diapers it is because they are being punished and being treated as a baby and that is abuse! All children have the right of self-respect and to be valued for what they are.

3. Kids to not choose to wet/soil themselves usually unless they have other severe behaviour difficulties usually cased by someone screwing them up, and if they chose to wet or soil in those circumstances then it is understandable. Kids do have accidents we all do there is nobody in this world who has not wet their pants at some time, kid or adult . We should not blame anyone who wet themselves but seek to help them find a solution. Wetting should just be treated as a matter of fact everyday occurance. It is no big deal we should not laugh or mock them or treat them as mentally subnormal (sorry mentally challenged). Have you ever spoken to a deaf person and having to shout to be heard. How difficult it is to not treat them as though they were five years old. There is nothing wrong with them - they just can't hear very well, but we do treat them as though they were simple. My gran was deaf as a post and often went about with her hearing aid whistling. She could hear if you spoke to her loudly in her ear. She had wondrful eyesight and embroidered many table cloths and mats that we still now have, although she died when she was 95, still with perfect eyesight. never wore glasses. I remember once when my dad was trying to say something to her - she sometimes used her deafness to her advantage - and she said to him "Yes I know, I'm not simple" she wasn't she was a wonderful gran. So we should not treat our kids that way. They are not wetting on purpose and we should not get angry, annoyed or pissed off (forgive the pun) and we should not punish them out of revenge.

4. Jamie and Simon are not stupid or regressed or lazy. They are not naughty either - well they can be little devils at times but that's another story. I don't think they ever wet on purpose or to punish me or for any other reason. Do they like wet pants or a wet bed? Better ask them but I would guess not.

5. Wetting is only part of childrens lives, like school and homework and play and lots of other things. Parents should not keep raising it, as some do, at every opportunity. Some parents do this with bad behaviour, "I remember ten years ago when you were naughty" as well. nothing is ever forgotten or forgiven. This stifles kids development and is very negative. Once something is dealt with, and punished if necessary it should be completely put aside and forgotten. Bed/pants wetting should not be punished though.

6. Yes all parents should learn as much about wetting as possible. I have collected and read over 500 article on bed/pants wetting/soiling an have got a lot of the research article on the computer so that I can refer to them or send anybody a copy on almost any part of wetting and on doctor's solutions to the problem I also have some parent reactions/solutions. I belong to ERIC (Enuresis Research Information Centre - not a person) which is a support group in this country for parents/children and doctors/nurses.

7. It certainly is about choices, informed choices. Trying different things to see which works best. When Jamie and Simon were younger when I went to bed I used to lift them out of bed carry them to the toilet, pull their pyjama bottoms down for them and they would just go wee, and I put them back to bed. They never woke up and the bed was always wet in the morning, but it was worth a try. I gave it up when they got bigger/heavier and because sometimes they did not make it to the toilet before they went pee and did it all over me! but it was worth a try.

8. Kid should be consulted over all aspects of wetting and wearing diapers and any treatment. They should consent (Say yes or no). It is pretty mean to give kids a solution to their wetting (the security of diapers) and then mock and ridicule them. Punishing a child physically should not be necessary and hurting them emotionally is worse. Rejecting, mocking, making them feel/act small is damaging for the child, the parent/child relationship, and degrading for the parents. Ground rules should be set up including when diapers are worn, who changes them, where and when etc. Everybody takes responsibility for their bit.

9. There are many different methods of keeping a child dry, and helping them achieve dryness and those that work are right, and those that don't work for a particular child in a certain situation are wrong.

10. The three of us; Jamie, Simon, and me have all agreed that diapers are best at certain times and in certain places Nightime in bed, daytime at school, in the car when we go on trips etc. there are other times when they are out playing, and in the house when they don't want to wear diapers. That is their choice. If they wet themselves in that situation, that's fine it was their choice they just have to deal with it.

11. What Simon and Jamie wear is basically up to them. I am not threatned by what they wear and don't feel threatened by diapers either. I would not say they dressed up round the house or wore diapers to anybody it is not their business, and would remain their secret till they wanted to tell someone.

12. I have always discussed anything the boys wanted to talk about. We used to sit round the open fire with the lights off in the evening just talking about anything that came into our heads and the only rule we had was that we would LISTEN to that person till they had finished. Then we would respond. Give our views ideas or help. We have laughed together, shared private thoughts and cried together and that is very necessary. We don't have a fireplace now but we have a sofa and a candle so we can still do that. Some of the times we have talked after a sad film have been very important to me and i hope for the boys. Somehow those times are moments when we have all grown up together. We can all be monsters, but I would rather be a Casper.

Simon & Jamies Dad.