NOT EVERYONE WILL CHOOSE PROTECTION. WE UNDERSTAND THAT. THIS SECTION IS FOR THOSE WHO DO OR WHO ARE THINKING ABOUT USING PROTECTION FOR THEIR CHILD
edited from the tri-state enuresis support page:
Frequent daytime bladder accidents are a major embarrassment for a child who is past the preschool years. Using some sort of protection will be less embarrassing than having frequent unprotected accidents. The child gains a sense of mastery of the problem by having the means to minimize the social effects of an accident.
For a child who wets only at night there are several ways to manage the problem. Remember that the child can't help bedwetting any more than you or your spouse can help snoring. How parents handle the problem and what message they send is far more important than exactly what management method is used. No child should be subject to ridicule or abuse because of bladder control problems. Parents need to choose their words carefully when discussing what management method will work best for their child. Telling a child she must wear a diaper to bed because she's a baby who wets is degrading. Telling a child that a diaper or bedwetter pants will make her more comfortable and prevent her from having to sleep in a wet bed shows concern and acceptance. No child should ever be forced to wear diapers as punishment or as motivation to "try harder". Unfortunately this is done all too often. On the other hand having a child wear diapers for their comfort and to prevent unneeded embarrassment is not demeaning, nor does it infantalize the child. Many adults choose to wear diapers or absorbent pants to have a comfortable night's sleep in a dry bed; why should a 12 year old feel differently? It's a matter of approach - offer the choice as a means of helping the child, not as a punishment.
No child should be forced to wake up in a wet bed to further some "character building" program. Waking up cold and wet and having to deal with piles of wet bedding when half asleep is demeaning and counter-productive. Stress simply add to the likelihood a child will wet. Even when well handled, continual wet beds are stressful for the whole family. For a child to wear an absorbent protection at home, at night is, one thing. To ask a child to do it during the day is quite another. Some friends and school mates will find out. But what is harder for a child, frequent wet clothes or wearing protective underwear? Numerous manufactures make protective clothing for daytime that is basically well padded underwear. If your child needs protection from accidents you have many choices to pick from . Remember your goal is to protect your child. There is nothing shameful about doing this. If you are not ashamed that your child needs incontinence protection, you can help him also see that it is not shameful. Don't tolerate teasing from siblings. Make it clear to all family members that remarks and intrusive questions are out of line. Understand that psychological problems are nearly never involved as the root cause of bedwetting - but stress and emotional upheaval can make it worse. You should make sure that teachers and counselors are informed of the problem and are informed of your expectations of their support for your child. Then your child may have the strength to realize that bladder control does not define who they are. Children who have strong family support are not easy targets -children subject to parental attack are easy targets for bullying.
Children need to know that they are not alone. They should know that one of the most famous presidents of the United States (FDR) had to wear diapers. They need to know that many otherwise normal children have these problems and many of them wear diapers. Tell them how many medical problems cause bladder or bowel problems. If a parent or friend has/had a similar problem tell the child. Most nightwetting children have at least one close relative who has or had the problem.
The best possible outcome is your child to see protection as another part of their nightwear ensemble. That day will not happen immediately but with love, care, patience and support peace will get its chance
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